What makes people fall in love? This question is even tackled in movies: "But why doesn't he loveme?" sobbed Sally as she mopped up her tears and runny nose inWhen Harry Met Sally. She was heartbroken that her old boyfriend married someone else. Sally is not alone: most old and young lovers experience broken hearts and feelings of rejection in their lives. What makes people fall in love - the chemistry in romantic relationships - can seem like a mystery.

    Knowing why we fall in love may help ease feelings of rejection and heartbreak. If someone doesn't fall in love with you, it's not because you're ugly, stupid or poor. Sometimes the chemistry just isn't right. Why we fall in love has been researched extensively.

    What Makes People Fall in Love

    Psychologist Mark Kristal from the University of Buffalo explains the chemistry in romantic relationships. "There are several types of chemistry required in romantic relationships," he says. "It seems like a variety of different neurochemical processes and external stimuli have to click in the right complex and right sequence for someone to fall in love." The chemistry in romance requires certain elements of love.

    1. Smell.We fall in love partly because of smell. The scent of a bouquet of red roses, for instance, is a cultural preference that boosts the chemistry in romantic relationships. Dr Kristal says, "For example, smelling like a strawberry instead of mildew [makes you attractive]." Smelling delicious could be part of why we fall in love.

    2. Love pheromones.Invisible signals are part of what makes people fall in love. "Pheromones are unlearned, and perhaps unsmellable, signals that enter the brain through the olfactory system. They can function in sex, alarm, territoriality, aggression, and fear," says Dr Kristal. He believes that we choose specific mates not solely due to pheromones, but for other reasons. Other sensory cues are better explanations for why we fall in love, such as touch, smell, and hearing.

    3. The brain.We fall in love partly because of hormones. Oxytocin and vasopressin are present when people fall in love and stay together for a long time. Dopamine is also part of the chemistry in romantic relationships. So, when you're wondering "Why doesn't he love me?" you may have to look to brain chemistry as the answer.

    Can you make someone love you? Well, since the chemistry in romantic relationships is affected by smell, you could try approaching someone you like with a dozen roses or a mug of hot chocolate. And since the hormone oxytocin can be created by positive experiences, it might be smart to ensure all your interactions are pleasant ones.

    Just remember that the chemistry in romantic relationships doesn't change who you are as a person. Sally inWhen Harry Met Sallywas just as beautiful, smart and funny after her ex-boyfriend married someone else.

    兩人相愛后快樂地在一起生活并不是神話。澳大利亞研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)了維系一段感情需要什么，它要的不僅僅是愛。

    一對(duì)夫婦的年齡，以前的婚姻狀況，甚至他們是否吸煙，都是影響他們婚姻能否持久的關(guān)鍵，根據(jù)澳大利亞國(guó)立大學(xué)研究人員的研究成果。

    這個(gè)研究課題叫"什么樣的愛才能滿足一段婚姻",追蹤了2500名夫婦---結(jié)婚或同居---從2001到2007,通過比較一直生活在一起的伴侶和離異，或者分手的伴侶兩者之間的聯(lián)系來找出原因。

    它發(fā)現(xiàn)比妻子大9歲，或大于9歲的丈夫離婚的可能性是男的25歲前就結(jié)婚的2倍。

    孩子同樣也影響到一段婚姻的持久性或兩人親密程度，在結(jié)婚前就有孩子的夫婦---無(wú)論來自以前一段婚姻或者同一段婚姻---離婚的有20%,而結(jié)婚前沒有孩子的夫婦只有9%.

    女方比男的更急著要孩子離婚的可能性也大為增加。

    夫婦雙方的父母在他們婚姻關(guān)系中也有影響，研究表明父母曾經(jīng)離異的夫婦雙方有16%離婚，而父母不曾離婚的只有10%.

    同樣，是第二或第三次婚姻的配偶比第一次婚姻的配偶，離婚的可能性高90%.

    不足為奇的是，金錢同樣對(duì)婚姻有影響，婚姻案中的被告指出他們很窮，或者在丈夫---不是妻子，被解雇的地方說他們要離婚的有16%,而有良好財(cái)務(wù)狀況的夫婦只有9%.

    而夫婦只有一方吸煙的也更為可能以失敗的婚姻告終。

    結(jié)婚夫婦擁有孩子的多少和年齡，妻子就業(yè)率，夫婦工作的時(shí)間，這些因素對(duì)離婚的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)不會(huì)有太大的影響。

    這個(gè)研究成果是由來自澳大利亞國(guó)立大學(xué)的樂思·其朋博士，和來自家庭、住房、社區(qū)服務(wù)和土著事務(wù)部門的彭語(yǔ)博士共同著述的。