1) "My ex did the exact same thing!"
Whether it's a positive correlation (they both always hold the door open) or a negative one (neither one showers often enough), your boyfriend never wants to hear that he's anything like your ex. Ever.
You don't want him to feel like you're always comparing the two of them, do you? Think about it: Do you really want him to imagine that he does other things just like your ex? Doubtful. Plus, he might think you're still hung up on your former flame.
Either way, a comment like this won't do much for his self-esteem. So the next time you experience boyfriend deja-vu, keep it to yourself.
"我前男友也有這樣的習慣。"無論你是出于好心或者其他,永遠不要將他與你的前任放在一起。
2) "Helen's pregnant … Shhhh"
Remember on Sex and the City when Carrie tells Aidan that Miranda's pregnant but that he can't tell Steve? Remember how upset Aidan was to hear the incriminating news? Your boyfriend doesn't want to hear information that could get him into trouble. And even if he does want to hear it, he really shouldn't. Don't burden him with someone else's secret. And besides, if he does spill the beans, your friend is going to be mad at you, not him.
Along the same lines, he doesn't want to hear about your friend's yeast infections, her irregular periods or her IBS. It's bad enough he has to hear about yours.
"海倫懷孕了。"
還記得《欲望都市》里面的場景么?Carrie把Miranda懷孕的消息告訴了Aidan,卻瞞著Steve?還記得Aidan當時的反應么?他并不愿意聽到這樣的消息。
3) "When we're married/have kids…"
It's natural to fantasize about wedded bliss and the three kids you and your beau will one day spawn - you're only human. And sometimes you might even entertain this fantasy very early on in a relationship. But unless you want to scare him away permanently, keep thoughts like these in your head where they belong.
Even if he himself has thought about your happily-ever-after future, he probably doesn't want to hear it described out loud just yet. Wait until you're sure you're on the same page regarding marriage, kids, and the future of your relationship before you start prophesizing. A gut feeling probably isn't good enough.
"我們結婚以后/我們有小孩后……"
在戀愛中憧憬未來是很正常的事情,在雙方都有這樣的準備之前,不要輕易說這樣的話。
4) "I just farted"
In a man's mind, women only use the bathroom to re-apply their lipstick (or, at the very worst, pee). They know they're kidding themselves, but they really don't want any physical, verbal, or olfactory indication of the contrary.
Telling him you farted means he can no longer blame the dog. Suddenly, you're one of the guys, and not in a sexy, "I watch football and drink beer but I'm still a girly-girl" kind of way.
Sure, he'll get over it. He may even laugh about it from time to time. But he'd still prefer that it never happened. So depending on how squeamish your guy is, you might want to wait till you're married to be disgusting.
"我剛剛放了個屁。"
在男人心中,女人就應該在衛(wèi)生間里才可以放屁,雖然他們明知這樣不可能,但他們討厭那樣的事實。
5) "I'm fine" or "Never mind"
Your face says it all. So does the fact that you haven't said a word in the past hour. And the way you snapped over the misplaced remote control isn't hiding anything either. But when he asks if you're okay, you say you're fine. At this point, your boyfriend wants to tear his hair out.
Passive-aggressive behavior doesn't help anyone. First, you miss an opportunity to actually address what's bothering you. You also bottle up your frustrations and create new problems. By the time you actually try to tackle what's really bothering you, you're both too upset about too many things to have a constructive discussion.
"我沒事""我很好"
你一個小時沒有說話,但是當他問你發(fā)生什么事情的時候,你堅持自己沒事。這樣會讓他抓狂的。
6) "Do you think she's pretty?"
When you ask a question like this, your boyfriend knows he can't win.
If he says "yes," you'll probably get jealous and upset (whether or not you show it, see #5). You might even follow up with "Is she prettier than me?" Talk about a loaded question!
Of course, if he says "no" (and she clearly is pretty), you'll accuse him of being a liar. You'll wonder what else he's lying about, even as you assure him you don't mind if he says "yes." Pfff…as if you're that insecure!
Has he managed to convince you that he genuinely doesn't find her attractive at all? You'll wonder what his bad taste says about you.
"那個女孩漂亮么?"
當你這樣問的時候,你的男朋友就知道怎么回答都是錯的。如果他說"是的",你肯定會吃醋,嫉妒,你肯定會接著問"她比我漂亮么?"如果回答"不是",你就會認為他不誠實。
7"I'll try anything once!"
Because unless you really, really, really mean it, don't get his hopes up.
"我要嘗試做每件事。"
除非你已經鐵定心要這樣做,否則請不要輕易讓他對你充滿希望。
8"Are you sure you're okay?"
(Repeatedly. Even after he's told you he really is okay.)
Sometimes we're thrown off guard when our guy is uncharacteristically quiet. We'll prod and probe, hoping to get to the bottom of their issue (and too often, we're absolutely sure it's something we've done). When in reality, there may not be a concrete reason at all.
Men have bad days too - they can be moody, tired, or just generally not feel like talking. They're only human! As hard as it can be, don't read into it too much. Give him his space and keep yourself busy until he snaps out of it.
Ask him what's bothering him over and over again and the only honest answer will be "You."
"你真的沒事吧?"
有時,我們會發(fā)現(xiàn)男友和以前不一樣,出奇的安靜。我們就會好奇,想知道發(fā)生了什么事。其實,男人也會有情緒,也會不開心,疲憊或者不想說話。這個時候讓他一個人呆著是個最佳的選擇。
9."I hate my thighs"
If he didn't find you attractive, he wouldn't be with you in the first place. Period, end of story.
Putting yourself down in front of him makes you look insecure, and just in case you didn't know, men really hate that. Just like women, they're usually attracted to self-confidence and put off by its opposite.
Think about it. Would you want to be with a man who constantly talked about how much he hated his calves or how he felt like a failure in his career? Uh, no way.
In addition, you'll draw attention to flaws that he probably never even noticed before. No one else looks as closely at your body as you do. In all likelihood, you are your own worst critic. Don't recruit him.
"我討厭自己的大腿。"
如果他不喜歡你,就不會和你在一起。在他面前表現(xiàn)不自信,讓她覺得你沒有安全感不是好事。更壞的是,你有可能會讓他也注意到你身上的缺點。
10) "I hate your mom"
Likewise for his friends, his siblings, his dad … even his dog.
If he really loves someone or something, don't hate on 'em. You may not get along perfectly with everyone in his life, but try your hardest to be diplomatic in your relationships with people he really cares about. Be open-minded about what he sees in them (things that may not be immediately obvious to you).
Maybe Deadbeat Dave is his oldest friend - the person he survived middle school with; the only person who stood by him when he lost his job a couple years back. Maybe despite his lack of attention to hygiene, he's got a heart of gold.
If you love your man, you'll trust his judgment.
"我討厭你的媽媽。"
不要討厭的是他們關心的喜歡的人。你不可能讓每個人都喜歡你,但你需要盡力去維護這些關系。