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Online break-ups--Where's the love?

放大字體  縮小字體 發(fā)布日期:2011-08-20
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ZHANG Haifeng, a 19-year-old medical student at Lanzhou University, has an odd habit when it comes to breaking up with his girlfriends.
張海峰(音譯),蘭州大學(xué)19歲的醫(yī)科學(xué)生,與女朋友分手時(shí)有個(gè)怪癖。

He does it via the Internet. Once, he broke up with a girl by e-mail. With his next girlfriend, he broke up by QQ messaging.
他喜歡通過(guò)互聯(lián)網(wǎng)說(shuō)分手。他曾通過(guò)郵件和一個(gè)女孩分手。后來(lái)的一個(gè)女朋友則是通過(guò)QQ說(shuō)分手的。

He always began the message with, "I have to tell you something", and then explained that they weren`t compatible. He apologized to the girls at the end of his message, and he wished them good luck.
他的開(kāi)場(chǎng)白通常是“我想和你說(shuō)件事”,然后就開(kāi)始解釋他們其實(shí)并不合適。最后,他會(huì)向那些女孩道歉,并祝她們好運(yùn)。

"If I want to break up with someone, I think it is best done sooner rather than later ...When you face them, you must prepare for their reactions -crying, arguing, bargaining or begging," Zhang said. "But when I send an e-mail, or leave a message on QQ, I can just tell things directly and clearly. When they receive the message, they are always at home and in private, so they will feel safe enough to respond emotionally."
“如果想和對(duì)方分手,我覺(jué)得宜早不宜晚。當(dāng)面說(shuō)分手的話,你不得不對(duì)她們的反應(yīng)做好應(yīng)對(duì)措施--痛哭、爭(zhēng)吵、商量或者乞求。”張海峰說(shuō)。“但如果是通過(guò)郵件、QQ等方式,我就可以直接了當(dāng)?shù)卣f(shuō)分手。她們收到消息時(shí)通常是在家或者自己一個(gè)人,因此可以毫無(wú)顧忌地宣泄自己的情緒。”

Zhang`s desire for a "medium" for breaking up may be universal these days. Followers of the hit US TV series Sex and the City may remember that one of Carrie Bradshaw`s boyfriends broke up with her via a Post-it note.
近來(lái),像張海峰這樣想通過(guò)其他媒介說(shuō)分手的人越來(lái)越多了。熱門電視劇《欲望都市》的粉絲們可能記得,凱莉•布蘭肖的一個(gè)男友就曾通過(guò)便利貼說(shuō)分手。

The man scribbled on a sticky square of yellow paper: "I`m sorry, I can`t. Don`t hate me."
他在一張黃色正方形的便利貼上草草寫道:“對(duì)不起,我不能和你在一起了。別恨我。”

It may have seemed cruel and childish to fans of the TV drama, but seven years later, it just seems so old-fashioned.
對(duì)該劇的粉絲們來(lái)說(shuō),這樣的舉動(dòng)看似殘酷、孩子氣。但在7年后的今天,此舉卻顯得如此過(guò)時(shí)。

According to a story on the US magazine Newsweek, the Post-it breakup now belongs to an ancient era - the pre-Facebook, pre-texting times.
據(jù)美國(guó)《新聞周刊》雜志報(bào)道,便利貼分手已經(jīng)屬于一個(gè)遙遠(yuǎn)的時(shí)代--一個(gè)Facebook、短信誕生前的時(shí)代。

In a more contemporary depiction of break-up fashion, US actress Drew Barrymore says in the 2009 film He`s Just Not That Into You: "I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he e-mailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies…It`s exhausting."
在09年的電影《你其實(shí)不懂他的心》中,現(xiàn)代的分手時(shí)尚得到了充分詮釋。劇中,女演員德魯•巴里摩爾說(shuō):“我上班時(shí)收到他的語(yǔ)音留言,所以回到家后給他回電話。接著他發(fā)郵件到我的黑莓,我就給他發(fā)了短信。如今,我不得不檢查所有可能的通訊渠道,到頭來(lái)只發(fā)現(xiàn)被七種高科技拒絕了七次。真是累死我了。”

Newsweek cited the work of Ilana Gershon, an assistant professor of communication and culture at Indiana University in the US, who once asked her students what makes a bad breakup. According to Gershon, her students all responded with tales of outrage about the medium rather than the message, complaining that they got the bad news by text or by social networking sites like Facebook, rather than in person.
《新聞周刊》援引了美國(guó)印第安納大學(xué)傳播與文化學(xué)院助理教授伊蘭娜•格爾森的作品,后者曾問(wèn)自己的學(xué)生“怎樣分手比較糟糕”。從學(xué)生們的反饋來(lái)看,相比分手時(shí)收到的信息,那些媒介更讓他們憤怒。他們埋怨對(duì)方通過(guò)短信、Facebook等社交網(wǎng)站而非本人當(dāng)面提分手。

Inspired by this finding, Gershon decided to study how new technology has changed the rules of romance. In her new book, The Breakup 2.0: Disconnecting Over New Media, Gershon wrote that almost all the people she talked to agreed that the most honorable way to break up was in person, but many turned to new media because the face-to-face conversations didn`t get the results they wanted.
受該調(diào)查啟發(fā),格爾森教授決定深入研究這些新技術(shù)是如何改變愛(ài)情規(guī)則的。在她的新書(shū)《分手2.0:通過(guò)新媒體切斷聯(lián)系》中,格爾森寫道,受訪的所有人幾乎都認(rèn)為當(dāng)面分手是最體面的分手方式,但由于這種面對(duì)面的分手不能讓他們達(dá)到目的,很多人都轉(zhuǎn)而借助新媒體。

Social networking sites play a significant and public role in young people`s romances these days, according to Gershon. Some people she interviewed will claim that a breakup isn`t official until it is "Facebook official". Others broke up over cell phone texting.
據(jù)格爾森講,現(xiàn)如今,社交網(wǎng)站在年輕人的戀情中至關(guān)重要。她采訪的一些人稱在Facebook上公布分手消息才算真正的分手。其他人通過(guò)手機(jī)短信分手。

Many of the people Gershon interviewed expressed a fond feeling for the "old days" when relationships were marked by real rather than virtual symbols of connection, like wearing a boyfriend`s fraternity pin or his varsity jacket.
格爾森采訪的很多人都很向往以前那種基于現(xiàn)實(shí)生活而非虛擬網(wǎng)絡(luò)聯(lián)系的戀愛(ài)關(guān)系,比如:戴著男友的大學(xué)聯(lián)誼會(huì)會(huì)徽或穿著他所在大學(xué)的外套。

According to Gershon, a breakup has always been hard to do-whether it involves a tearful face-to-face confrontation or a short text message. "The only difference now," she told the magazine, "is that we might actually have 50 ways to leave a lover, and they all hurt."
另?yè)?jù)格爾森透露,無(wú)論是淚流滿面的當(dāng)面說(shuō)分手還是短信說(shuō)分手,分手總是一件難事。她在接受《新聞周刊》采訪時(shí)說(shuō):“現(xiàn)在唯一的不同就是,我們可能有50種方式說(shuō)分手。但這些方法都一樣傷人。”
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